Everyone claims to want the same thing from their personal relations. There is an expectation that our friends and lovers will tell us the truth, and all claim to wish none the different. When one finds they have been misled or outright lied to there is an outcry and hurt ensues. Cynicism rears its ugly head and reflections on past conversations consume us. My proposition is to avoid this outcome entirely by changing our own expectations.
What if instead of expecting or asking for truth, we instead expect and ask for lies. Tell me lies, tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies, as the Eurythmic’s song states. That way we can never claim disappointment and are jaded from the start so there is no major change in emotions when your expectations are confirmed. If you expect or ask for lies, you can not suffer the bitterness that comes from expecting truth and receiving lies. Ask for lies and you have two possible outcomes, people will either confess the truth (but then you might not believe it) or they will lie and give you exactly what you expected or asked for.
If one chooses this track in life, does one tell all, or keep it to themselves? I would say it’s more fun to keep flagrant disbelief to one’s self. Why let anyone know you are looking at them sideways? We are socialistic by nature, to say to a new friend or lover, I don’t believe you and never will, is not acceptable in polite society.
Polite be damned; concern for the niceties of social structure leave trusting individuals open for duplicitous individual’s exploitation. If a person is sincere they will eventually gain a measure of your respect but to trust outright is just asking for trouble and emotional turmoil.
Human nature and life is a constant evolution, what was true yesterday does not hold true for eternity. Life is precious and so is time, time wasted can never be returned, time spent wrapped in lies cannot be undone. So open your eyes people, (possibly this is more of a mental note!) and realize that only songwriters speak of love eloquently for a reason. Real life does not support the concept of love. Everyone has a secret; or several they are working diligently to hide, everyone has a personal agenda and everyone is playing a game of some sort. Love when enmeshed in games and deceit cannot flourish.
If you are looking for someone to trust, trust yourself. If you need a strong shoulder to lean on, lean on your own and stand on your own two feet. Cynical I know, but if you don’t look out for yourself, who will? If someone is worth your time and your heart, they will take the time to look at you sideways, figure you out and find their way into your heart if the really want to and actually deserve it.
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Interesting... but at the same time, the whole 'positive thinkin' concept is thrown out the window if u take it from this angle.. i used to think this way, then i ditched it and started thinkin positive all the time. I don't think it worked THAT well coz now i dunno wht i should think! There's no guarantee either way but i think thinkin negative and not expecting much, in a way limits the imagination and free spirits. Life is too complicated in my opinion. So i'm just lettin life flow for now.. interestin and good first blog post :D hope u'r not considered spam in a coupla days :D
ReplyDelete*hugs* well written...
ReplyDeleteNo not considering spam in a few days and have been curious to try it, however I never really looked at the outlook as overly negative, more like you are even more open to surprises and appreciate them all the more...it's a delicate balance anyway, life is change and I am sure my outlook will change randomly.
ReplyDeleteSoo Ture Kris mwahzz i lyk this one :D
ReplyDelete"What if instead of expecting or asking for truth, we instead expect and ask for lies."
ReplyDeleteThat can do loads more bad than you think it will. So chuck that idea right away. You see, when you actually want to get close to a person, it is best you stayed honest. Sooner or later, the truth will be out. It will hurt when things go bad, but it will hurt even more when you realise that everything that happened in the past was based on a bunch of lies. Don't you think it will hurt even more if you end up asking for lies, and the guy/girl you meet wants you so bad that he/she tried to make them all real? And when that person realises that everything was a freaking joke, imagine how bad it would hurt.
As I always say, shit happens. It is you who decides how you want to react to it and how you want your life to be headed after each bad phase in life. Another statement I always make, "it is all in your head." If you feel that you can put all that behind and work towards a new beginning, there is nothing like it. All that matters at the end of the day is that you need to be able to go on with life. How that is done, varies from person to person. It is for you to convince yourself that you want to move on and that you WILL move on. Being cynical does not always help.
A well written post. Shows your clarity of thought, but it is just that I don't agree with your line of though.
Thanks Adi and Sameera.
ReplyDeleteAdi I am not 100 % sure I agree with this train of thought either, it's mainly a what if comment.
Thoughts come and go, moods come and go but some moods linger and some negative thoughts need a release to be let go.
I do agree with one of your statements whole heartedly Adi, "it will hurt even more when you realise that everything that happened in the past was based on a bunch of lies." Yeah Adi, it really does.
Thanks for your comments.
Hahaha! Well, that is not the way I wanted you to look at it. I wanted you to just get rid of such ideas and it only made you feel even more hurt, I guess. I SAK! Anyway, I sure will keep coming back to check for new posts. And my comments will keep flowing as well. :-)
ReplyDeleteawwww Kristin this is so nice...I hate reading @ 1st place but reading these wil never make me hate it...keep them coming hun;)...and guess what i read the whole thing:P
ReplyDeleteawww thanks hun!!!
ReplyDelete